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New Years resolutions are bullshit, but I am going to change some things

I cannot figure out why a day at the beginning of a calendar earns such a precious space in our personal itinerary for making changes. We should just own up to our failures immediately and correct them. For some reason, the beginning of a new year initiates this desire to have a clean slate and start fresh. So, in the spirit of new beginnings, here are some things I am going to try…

  1. Fitness – I am going to exert myself once a day, without fail. This sounds like one of those crazy ultimatums we give ourselves on January 1st only to watch it be ignored before the end of the month. In this case, there simply is no excuse. I sleep every day. I eat every day. Hell, I watch TV and bitch at someone on Facebook every day. Now I need to just make activity a habit.
  2. Lair – I could say “for some reason, I always end up at a coffee shop doing things.” Fact is, I know why. My office is a disaster. Everything about the area screams “your shit is not together”. When I go to a coffee shop, the bills, the cracks in the walls, the neighbors, the WiFi, the temperature, they are all not my responsibility. I now need to purge and organize my space, a lair where I want to be creative and productive. I need to surround myself with music and art that supports my mental health. I can brew my own damn coffee (and it is damn fantastic) and make my own grilled sandwiches and other goodies.
  3. Mental health – I did a terrible job caring for myself last year. It was a huge struggle where I dedicated myself to things and people who will never acknowledge my value. I won’t always be able to insulate myself from situations that are troubling or frustrating, but I can do more to prepare myself and to hit my “welp, I no longer give a fuck” button.
  4. Creative expression – I have a lot of ideas and passions, but I allow them to overwhelm me. Will I ruin a canvass? Will I delete the wrong photo? Will my essay piss someone off? I have to strive to dispose of the hurdles that prevent achievement.
  5. Suffering fools – I have to be real with myself…I will never have a lot of patience for certain characteristics, behaviors, or personalities. If I am too smart to have to deal with some people, then I am smart enough to let those morons hang themselves while I come out looking like the good guy. I can always deliver the proverbial kick to the teeth if needed.

There we go. That is the plan. No promises, but if I follow them, I may have a better year.

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The land I love

Protruding granite and soil
Silent definition of power and time.
Towering peaks covered in snow.
Mountains define nature’s quiet strength.

Shimmering rustle of silver and yellow.
Flashing against an azure background.
White bark piercing the sky.
Aspens define nature’s palette.

Tinkling and trickling.
Beginning as a bubbling stream.
Gathering resources as it flows.
Rivers define nature’s persistence.

Arbitrary borders attempt to confine the beauty.
Assigning it to one set of political entities.
But the ferocious intensity cannot be contained.
My heart beats in the landscape that is the Rockies.

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What Gun Control Should Mean

The Second Amendment:


A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.


Most people contract this sentence to the more concise “right to bare arms”, neglecting the full intent of the right.  I am not going to get deep into the case history or mindset of the founders, but here is my interpretation of the right:
You can own anything capable of protecting yourself and thwarting the encroachment of the government on your rights as a citizen, so long as you demonstrate reasonable faculties and understanding of utilization of said weapons.


As a liberal, most gun enthusiasts generally believe that I hate guns and want all of them confiscated and melted down. This could not be further from the truth. In fact, I am comfortable with properly trained, mentally stable, and licensed citizens owning any weapon, from a BB gun all the way to a nuclear ballistic missile.  Now, before you think I am some sort of unhinged nut advocating for the destruction of humanity, allow me to define what I mean.


Under the umbrella of the “well-regulated” portion of the amendment, I believe the following measures are not only constitutional, but necessary to have safe and responsible gun ownership.


Background checks – Every time a person engages firearm transaction, a check into the background if the recipient must be conducted. The background check would validate the legal status of the person acquiring the firearm, ensuring they are in good standing in society.
Mental health checks – Every two years, gun owners must participate in a mental health evaluation to legally maintain their gun ownership.  Failed evaluations can be followed up by a second opinion before confiscation occurs.  Any confiscation would be associated with a six month hold, giving the owner an opportunity to address mental health issues and regain access to their firearms.
Ballistic database – every single firearm manufactured or imported into this country would be subjected to a ballistics review. The data would be stored in a national database, available to all citizens for review.
Licensing – each firearm owner would be licensed for each firearm.  The firearms would be registered to the owner, who would be responsible for the use of the firearms registered to them.  
Insurance – each firearm owner would maintain insurance to ensure that victims of injury or death related to registered firearms would be fully compensated for medical and funeral expenses.
Firearm security – each firearm would be stored in accordance with a standard set of rules that would entail trigger locks, storage safes, and other measures to minimize access by untrained users.
Training – part of the licensing of individuals would involve training that supports the proper use of the weapon. This extends beyond merely caring for the firearm and learning how to discharge it with accuracy.  This requires that the user understands the proper use of the weapon under circumstances were it would be used.  An owner of a .22 rifle would only require minimal usage training which would increase in complexity as the lethality of the weapon increases. Handgun owners would have to demonstrate a capacity to handle a weapon in a variety of self-protection circumstances. An owner of a .50 cal sniper rifle would have to undergo training commiserate with its ability to inflict damage over great distances.
Consequences – failure to comply with these measures to maximize public safety would result in severe minimum prison sentences, confiscation of weapons, and prohibition of future firearm ownership.


Of course, these actions will not immediately end gun violence in the US. We have developed a culture of gun adoration that leads far too many to handle firearms in an irresponsible fashion.  The goal is to elevate gun ownership to a civic responsibility commiserate with the risk involved to others.

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Homeless Man Eating from Hotbar at Whole Foods

Several news articles have reported a video of Whole Foods employees laughing as a presumably homeless man helped himself to food at the hotbar, at times grabbing food with his bare hands, licking his fingers, and using the ladles to put food into personal receptacles that he had with him. There are many atrocious aspects of this event that I wish to address, in order of most severe to least.

  • Food Safety – As someone who has spent days in a hospital with food poisoning, I can definitively attest that the primary concern is food safety for the customers at the store. I quiver with nausea at the thought of what contamination occurred during his sampling of the food. A homeless person does not have access to the facilities necessary to maintain adequate hygiene in general, so they are likely to have contaminants that are even more dangerous than the average customer who maintains a more effective level of personal hygiene. That said, any person who dares to touch the food or handle the utensils in any manner that results in an issue with the food safety should be escorted from the premises immediately and forbidden from returning.
  • Mocking the homeless – almost as difficult to stomach as the introduction of filth into the food is the laughter at the expense of a suffering human. While I find his grazing disgusting, I also find his predicament a tragic condition. My entire life, I have always known that food and shelter are available for me. I cannot imagine how painful suffering hunger and exposure can be, so mocking those who deal with it is an unconscionable act. These employees should be severely reprimanded for this appalling behavior.
  • Inaction by the employees and management – According to some reports, the employees are forbidden from addressing the issue immediately. The procedure apparently is to allow the act to proceed, then discard the tainted food later. Given that there is such a cavalier attitude by the Whole Foods leadership regarding their food, it would seem they would find a way to make this food accessible to those who need it without endangering customers who assume they are purchasing untainted food.

My hope is that this issue will result in a greater emphasis on food safety by Whole Foods and greater efforts to contribute food to those who need it.

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Gross Negligence, Not Criminal Intent, is the Reason for Impeachment

I am no lawyer or constitutional scholar.  I am not sure I have any right to comment on the ridiculous political occurrence transpiring in the Oval Office right now.  Given how unprecedented this is, it seems anyone with half a brain and interested in trying to figure this crap out is warranted in having an opinion.


I have not watched any of the proceedings around the impeachment.  I am certain that there are procedural issues that I will miss.  This thing seems incredibly complex from a legal standpoint, but pretty simple from a political one; the GOP wants to keep Trump in power at all cost, and the rest of society acknowledges, to some extent, that his presence in the Oval is troubling, at best. The questions being asked frame the issue in reference to other malfeasance that has come from the Oval.  They attempt to determine if there is relevance to the claims that Trump broke the law.  This effort to brand him a criminal misses a very important point..that he does not have to commit a crime to be eligible for removal from office.

Imagine if a surgeon entered an operating room exhausted, drunk, angry, or grieving. Whatever the case, they probably have no idea who they are operating on and don’t care.  They have no ill will and no reason to injure the patient; in fact, they have taken an oath to do the opposite.  They struggle through a 13 hour surgery, cleaving skin, excising malignant tissue, and suturing the opening, but they nick an artery in the effort, and the patient dies.  Was there criminal intent?  Did the surgeon want to harm the patient? Of course not, but their failure is still a problem, and the surgeon must face the consequences of their malicious ineptitude.

As Trump descended down the escalator the day of his announcement, we received a powerful metaphor for what was to come.  Why in the fuck would any campaign manager or advisor allow him to be filmed slowly slipping down, as if to indicate he was prepared to drag the country down to the bowels of repugnant ignorance and deplorable behavior?  As soon as the thought entered my mind, the answer followed…if he has some sort of advisors, they are either too inept to assess the optics of that event, or they did not possess the power to change his mind about what he wanted for the event.  Either way, it was a harbinger for the administration.  Once elected, there clearly was no effort to transition from the successful Obama administration.  Trump was certain that he could operate the presidency as he had every construction project and entertainment venue in which he managed.  He was self-assured that he would always be the smartest person in the room and there was nothing he could not handle.
The next step in figuring this menagerie of incompetence is to consider what type of guy Trump is and how would he handle a business transaction.  Do you think he enters negotiations with an interest in determining a mutually beneficial agreement for all parties involved? If that were true, wouldn’t you think at least one of his properties would not be a garish symbol of opulence and horrendous taste? He approaches everything the same way, that it is a problem that needs to be grabbed by the pussy and fucked until it acquiesces to his plan.  This maniacal-bull-in-the-china-shop handling of everything pairs poorly with his obvious insecurity issues.  He engages the press like a petulant toddler, can you imagine how pitifully he behaves with his cabinet and the joint chiefs?  He was woefully unprepared for this, but he has enough money and power that he can surround himself with sycophants desperate for his admiration and willing to fuel his malignant narcissism.

There is every indication that the overarching trait of this administration is incompetence.  Whenever they accidentally assign someone with some knowledge and experience to a role, they either realize the shitstorm they have entered and hastily leave, or they cross Trump and are expelled.  There is no one with the guts or experience in the administration to direct or correct Trump, especially on matters of foreign policy and national security. In my opinion, you have to have someone involved who knows what they are doing to have criminal intent.  There is no question in my mind that Dick Cheney leveraged his power and the incompetence of his boss to influence our engagement in numerous lengthy foreign campaigns, all with the intent to become richer.  To pull this off, Cheney had to have knowledge, experience, and a desire to commit the crime to be guilty. Clearly he was a master criminal, because he was never charged with anything.

Trump, on the other hand, is an idiot.  Normally this would be considered an opinion, but given how often he is willing to prove this to be true, it can no longer be considered anything other than fact.  He is the opposite of the constitutional scholar who warmed the seat for him.  He was told by someone that there was a connection between Biden and Ukraine, and that we were going to give them something, and he reacted.  Drunk on power and incapacitated by stupidity, he lurched to the phone and decided to “negotiate” a way to harm his primary competition in 2020.  Do you find this preposterous? THE ASSHOLE BEGGED RUSSIANS TO ATTACK HIS POLITICAL OPPONENT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION IN 2016.  He had no concept of how wrong that was.  She was a problem, he thought he knew who could help, and so he reached out to them. How in the world can people witness that nonsense and think that he is incapable of coercing a foreign entity into acting in his favor against a political opponent.  Did he think he was breaking the law? Of course not, because he didn’t care and never took the office he holds seriously enough to be concerned with how he presides over the nation.  

Just like the surgeon, Trump must answer for his neglect.  High crimes and misdemeanors is intentionally broad to encompass more than just murdering someone on 5th avenue.  It means that Congress can bring charges against a president for any dereliction of duty.  The only reason that this could not be done during the Russian collusion debacle is because it was too difficult to tie him to that. Let’s face it, a woefully inept electorate holds the power over who will be in office, so there were many democrats who were concerned about the optics of impeaching the president over an issue that was so nebulous.  The Ukrainian issue is far more clear.  He directly engaged a foreign power to interfere with the upcoming election. He engaged an Art of War style effort to bring suffering to a fellow American to further his agenda.  I am not sure a private citizen could commit these acts without facing legal consequences, so why is it acceptable for the President of the United States to do this?

Trump needs to face the consequences of what he has done.  We can no longer make this a political decision regarding what is best for the Democratic party.  Congress has a job to do.  It must serve as an effective check against the power of the Executive Branch.  If Trump is innocent of wrong-doing, surely he will survive the Senate unscathed.  There should be no interference in testimony, since he has nothing to hide.  There should be a vote, which will likely result in acquittal, not because he is not guilty, but because a majority of senators will likely vote based on party loyalty rather than an unbiased commission of their duty.  None of this changes the need for the event to occur.

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Loners – They May not Want your Help

As I write, I will probably slip references to my parents in from time to time.  My dad was an unabashed extrovert.  He was a traveling salesman, so he would frequently have to eat alone, which he HATED.  One of the things he would brag about was his confidence to stroll up to another lone eater and ask if they could share a table. These stories horrified my intensely introverted self more than most anything Stephen King could dream up.
When I was a kid, I went through a weird time in middle school, which i guess was common for kids that age.  I can recall frequently eating alone at lunch from 6th grade through to the middle of 9th grade. It was so strange, because I felt like I needed this time, but I didn’t understand why.  I would have been perfectly comfortable with myself, except for the way most people treated me.  Some kids probably thought I felt I was too good for them, and some of them were right.  Others took it as an opportunity to make me feel lousy about being weird and a loner.  Teachers and even my parents got into the game, telling me I was good enough for friends and wondering, sometimes to my face, if there was something wrong with me.  There actually was…people could not understand how someone could be comfortable alone without being lonely.
At that time, the general tactic was to ostracize, mock, or even bully the loner.  I had a guy in 8th grade who loved exercising his right fist into my shoulder as hard as he could, just because he had to have a locker next to the loner.  That stopped once I was a more formidable target, but the general feeling of being out of place because I was comfortable in my space continued.  Teachers would enthusiastically encourage more group work and more socialization, which created a vicious cycle, driving me to need more time alone to recharge.  I finally was able to emerge from this when I joined the swim team and found a niche that worked well for me.
Long after I graduated high school, Columbine experienced the horror of one of the most violent attacks in history.  Two kids took their anger at the world out on students in their school in an act that shook the nation.  Ever since that event, being alone seems to have become a warning flag for potentially violent behavior.  More popular/extroverted kids are encouraged to socialize with the kids who are alone.  Buddy benches have been created to signal others that anyone peacefully existing on a particular hunk of metal is desperately crying out for a social savior.  Instead of being mildly weird, we seem to now be viewed as a risk. Of course, this has greatly intensified problems for introverts, no matter how well-meaning the instigators are.
Society needs to stop treating people who enjoy being alone as weird, maladjusted, or potentially dangerous.  Schools need to do more than encourage those who seek out friendships to force socialization on kids who enjoy their alone time. Educators and parents could help by simply teaching kids and each other that different styles merit different interactions.  Humans are far more complex than most are willing to admit, particularly when it comes to how to interact with others.  Courses that address style differences at work are finally becoming more commonplace.  This needs to happen in schools as well.
Here are a few suggestions that would have gone a long way for me growing up…

  • Recognize the difference between alone and loneliness – it may be because introverts spend a lot of time reading people, but it doesn’t seem hard to tell the difference.  People who are lonely and sad about their situation typically demonstrate that pretty clearly. They look intently at others, a visage of envy will wash over them.  They will not seem content, they will shift in their seat, or seem to seek out companionship.  Introverts will be able to exist in a space around 1, 100, or 1000 people and never seem discontent with their own situation, so long has they can have their space.  They will be typing on a computer in a coffee shop (me right now), reading a book, or staring out in space, quietly contemplating the meaning of existence or the latest Kardashian controversy.  
  • Ask the person what they want – If you have determined that the person may be lonely or discontented with their social interaction opportunities, refrain from barreling in to the rescue. Regardless of the situation, it is likely to go over best if the person is asked how they want to be treated.  This definitely should be handled privately, and any reaction by the person should be accommodated respectfully.  If the person indicates they are unhappy with the situation, by all means rally people to engage with them more.
  • Refuse the inclination to treat being alone negatively – This gets to the reaction when the person is asked how they wish to be treated. Hopefully the engagement is comfortable enough to encourage them to be honest. If they say they are happy the way they are and with the interactions they have, an enthusiastic support of that statement will go a long way towards acceptance.
  • Don’t confuse failure to engage as failure to understand – Classes and business meetings alike seem to be litmus tests for how much people are willing to engage.  Frequently the level of engagement is tied to knowledge or competency.  One of the worst examples of this is the misguided Participation Grade.  Why the fuck does a kid have to be measured by his ability to articulate an answer in front of an entire math class?  This is a really big one for me, because I felt like this meant I had to share my knowledge with others who I didn’t really want to enlighten.  Of course this wouldn’t work in a theater or music class, where participation is the point, but other classes should focus simply on the aptitude of the student in the area of study.
  • Measure the style interactions of kids and match them up – Along the lines of the previous point, both schools and businesses should do more to ensure they match peers based on their interaction styles.  Group work is always a challenge for introverts, because it thrusts a social dynamic in the middle of an activity that will result in a measurement of the person’s performance.  One example of this came for me when I was studying to get my Masters.  I was taking a database development course and a couple of younger students were aware that I was not only older and experienced, but had a firm grasp on the subject matter.  They were pretty typical, extroverted students who were eager for help.  Had I been a younger student, their pleas for me to join them might have led to my acquiescence.  Instead, I stated that I would prefer to handle the project alone and would hate to interfere with their progress.  It is not always possible to control how work is distributed, but employers and teachers can put a bit more effort to find compatible peers and ensure they are allowed the opportunity to collaborate.
  • Never, under any circumstances, use a quieter kid to manage an extrovert – Much of the behavior common to introverts can lead to them being considered more mature than their peers.  Teaching or leading a group of people can be a taxing task, and educators/bosses will often look for any means to lighten the load.  Sometimes this manifests itself with leaders mixing more pensive peers with exuberant ones, much like nuclear plant operators will insert control rods to control the fission reaction.  Not only does this put pressure to force a more introverted person to extend themselves, but their new responsibility will almost always result in a friction with the more outgoing person, leading to unwarranted conflict.
  • Establish opportunities for kids to socialize on their terms – This isn’t only true for students, but doing this in school is essential for developing comfort for people across all personality styles.  Activities need to be varied enough to encourage participation at a level comfortable for the participants.  For example, if the class is going to play a game of twister, maybe broaden the scope of games available by including things like chess or checkers. This will give the students options for play that potentially fit their personality.  If social comfort and wisdom of the group develops enough, the class may even experience kids wading into uncharted waters, with introverts seeking out new opportunities to express themselves.

Younger generations seem better equipped to acknowledge broader personality styles.  Introvert is now a proud moniker, joining nerd and geek as compliments rather than insults.  They seem to get that different styles are to be valued and encouraged.  Their elders should work to support and embrace this trend.